Bump! and roast pork

Reporting from my space ship today. Beep Beep Beep. Brrb Brrb, Beep, La LA La Bing! Also known as Flat 4 in Junction road the Space Capsule has landed with a small... Bunp!

Back here on planet earth. Gosh its raining outside and windy too... Its probably raining because I paid my direct debit to Southern Water. I know they have been after some rain and also some of my money. It must be Christmas and birthday all at once for them this week.

What an amazing space mission! I was at the Opera you know. Yep. With my good friend Paul (also known as Bloke) from Essex. Something I remember about a 1st Violinist called Lina. She was from Madrid..Also been in a coffee shop in Hove to meet a friend called Orson (Its all true) Had a brief chat with a concert pianist called Sharon there. That reminds me. Did I mention that I don't care much for guys called Duncan?

Also whilst out in Space. Someone offered me a job. They did!! Told me I was going to earn 3 gallactic sheckles a month! The boat even had a helicopter on it and a jacuzzi. Must have been a crazy alien type Who would let a regular earthling work on one of those anyway!
It turned out that it was going to take me too long to get to Gamma Sector 4.in time for the job. The embassy in question refused to let me use my maximum Warp Factor. Must have been something Gordon Brown said to reduce harmful emissions.(Talking of which, my mate Dai will tell you about some of those!)

All is not lost and talks are being held to reinstate Warp Factor useage, which means that I might yet get the Aliens job. Plus there is such a thing as charcoal pant pads (wings optional) for other harmful emissions hinted at, above. There are tax benefits.... Ask Gordon Brown about those. About the pads. My mate Dai swears by them..

Back here on earth I saw a funky Latin band on Friday evening and have stayed in the safe environment of my space capsule ever since. Leaving only to have a coffee in town and to move some paving slabs for a fellow earthling. Its nice hear on Earth.

I actually like working for a charity and my capsule is pleasing to me. I have climbed my ladder many times since landing. Baked some bread and ate roast pork. Yummy.

Watch this space for. I also build sheds..