Red Bull kills 3 fat Americans oh and maybe a Scotsman too!

Good god! That is the last thing you lot need surely? As I sat quietly in another ship yard meeting, observing 3 overweight guys in their sixties, plus our current captain who is neither in his sixties or over weight but probably suffering from some high blood pressure, drinking cans of red bull!
I wondered what the hell I would do if one of them decided to keel over! There is plenty of heavy lifting gear around, which could come in useful. Perhaps, I should have stopped daydreaming about the hideous reality, of one of these blokes taking a turn in front of me and actually focused more on the meeting.

I am not sure how important one rich mans swimming pool drain and his zero speed stabilisers are in comparison to the health of these 3 fat Americans, they clearly are more worried about the stabilisers and the pool!

But then, that is the beauty of having a holiday isn’t it? You just don’t care so much for a while..

Emotional Blackmail and Whiskey Cake.

Dai, Cliff and Daren
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

One day at the hotel Dai and I noticed that Cliff, had in his possession a rather splendid whiskey cake! We had our eyes on that from the start. Cliff recounted reluctantly that Ness (his girlfriend) had given it to him to SHARE with us on the trip. We liked the idea of, ‘SHARE’ far more than, I think Cliff did!

It was late in the trip and as we had not all managed to summit Mont Blanc (which would have been the ideal place to share such a marvellous cake) The questions that remained on our minds was. A) Had Cliff already eaten it? Claiming the old ‘emergency ration’ chestnut.. B) Was it still nicely tucked in his rucksack? and C) If it was in his bag how were we to persuade him to part with at least a 3rd of it each!?

It was a beautiful gesture, that both Cliff and Dai had agreed to walk down past the spot where my brother had fallen from the mountain. It was hard to watch the mountain train leave down the steep track without us, as we were all tired from an already long day. We were talking generally and spirits were high. Cliff and I eventually caught up to Dai. I looked at Dai and said with a slight smile, “ It might be fitting to share a bit of whiskey cake in Clives memory?”

That’s beautiful! How can he say no to that!? Dai was grinning broadly! I was quite pleased with this underhanded route to the cake and I know that Clive would have appreciated the humour.

The cake was taken ceremoniously from its tin and its wrapper and shared 3 ways and toast to Clive was made.
(I have to add that Cliff is very generous in every aspect, except for, when it comes to sharing cake, or if it is clearly your turn to make the tea)

Great Sock Debate

Socks
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

I can’t ponce on about the mountains and the sea anymore for the fear of boring you all and loosing my readership completely. So now I must continue with the inane twaddle that you have become familiar with.

Last Christmas, one of the gifts that I received from my mother was small and squishy. On opening this gift, that had already given its self away as socks, I was very pleased to find the most fantastic pair of socks that you have ever seen. It was as though she was almost encouraging some mountaineering activity..

As you will see from the picture the socks have been designed, padded and elasticised to fit and shape to your foot to provide complete comfort while stuffed for long periods of time inside a big walking boot.

My good friend cliff was eyeing them with some envy, as they lay provocatively on my bed. At this point I couldn’t help but deliver the sales pitch of all of the benefits and design features for these simple items of clothing.

“ Aah”, He said.
“Aah?”, I thought. That’s it?
“Well, you should wear those inside out really shouldn’t you?”
“Inside out. Why is that then mate?”
He went on to point out that the inside of the sock was where all the seams and fluffy ends of the cotton were finished off and hidden. (Top sock in the picture)
“Surely you want to have the smooth bit against your skin?”
“Good point.. But what about the thermal properties?”
“You will just have to wear one inside out and the other the right way and make your decision based on a test!”

Being a firm believer in sox before marriage I think it is important to try a few variations on a theme. So it was, that one sock was put on, inside out and the other the right way around! During a summit attempt on Mont Blanc, might have been a bit of a fool hardy testing ground but I was open to try.
A mixture of altitude and exhaustion had taken my mind far from the great sock debate and by the time I was once again near to a bed they were removed without a thought. I am sure one foot was colder than the other but sleep and warmth of a bed had superseded any thoughts of soxual experimentation.

For great sox advice contact Cliff at www.sox4mountaineers.com

Mare De Glace

group in snow
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

This is taken on The Mare De Glace Glacier. A wonderful walk up this meandering sea of ice on the first day had us all in high spirits..

Ridge

Ridge
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

I watched last year, as we sailed up the Irish Sea, as hundreds of dolphins joined us just as the sun was rising. They stayed with us for hours, playing in the bow and all around the boat. The water was a deep crystal, inky blue, our 100 year old, wooden ship, creaked reassuringly as it glided gently under the power of the wind. A big burley man from Liverpool, who was on board as a guest, was surprisingly moved to write some poetry. These things are poetic! I feel lucky that I can feel these moments and although not a muse myself am aware of their poetic value.

The mountains and the sea both have the same ability to fill your heart with total joy in one minute and in the next to fill it with a loathsome fear. Wonderful, volatile places that test you, tease you, scare you and make you feel alive.

Loud Silence

Roped up
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

How do I share our Alpine adventure with you?
It is hard for me to describe the wonder and beauty of the mountains. These things should be left to the expert word-smiths to do it justice. There is a wonderful and complete silence that surrounds you when you are up in the snow line, someone once described it as a, ‘ Loud silence’ It is a silence that has a deep presence. Maybe it is more than silence? More like a feeling of peace.

The Journey Begins

Gear
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

We had rented a very smart ‘Ford Galaxy’ van, for the trip and managed, with the alacrity of a team of Krypton Factor finalists, to arrange 6 large guys and all of their gear for a weeks climbing in the French Alps. Plus I might add a few slightly dodgy man bags as well.

The journey, like all good journeys began in the pub! Then progressed slowly to the ferry terminal, which was 5 minutes down the road.

Whoever was in the front seat, passed six passports over to the small bloke in the control booth. The bloke in the control booth, then proceeded to look, very slowly at all of the documents before allowing a second brave official to peer into the front window. He, I think was interested to see if we had indeed, managed the feat of packing 6 guys and their gear and a few man bags into this relatively small van. He then asked Cliff, if we had any sharp objects with us???!!

Cliff replied casually, “ I think we have a camping knife in the back somewhere.” Successfully negating to mention, the sharp wit that was developing and the 6 ice axes and six pairs of cramp-ons that were all stashed neatly somewhere in the back. (Cramp-ons ere not to be confused with Tampons! Tampons really are not sharp at all and would not do at all well when attached to climbing boots in the snow and ice)

New underwear

New underwear
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

A little last minute shopping prior to leaving for the mountains, to aquire some new, rather stunning thermal underwear. You have got to hope that this stuff does the business at keeping out the cold because this latest Helly Hensen gear would certainly not do well at impressing the ladies.
Anyway. “If you want to change the world you have to start with your underwear!” Everyone knows that…

He Lies like a Rug!

Clive
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

…Sorry…..!!

My elder brother, Clive, sadly died nearly 20 years ago, in a mountaineering accident, whilst making a winter attempt on Mont Blanc, in the French Alps. This year would have been Clives 40th Birthday.

Back in January, I decided that I would like to climb Mont Blanc myself, both in the memory of Clive and of course for the adventure of it!

The first friend to talk to, when planning a climbing trip, is my mate Cliff… Yes perfect name isn’t it!? My good friend Cliff, was the 62nd Britain, to have successfully, climbed Mount Everest!

The dilemma was, how or if, to tell my family?

So, at my mums lovely birthday party, I was avoiding talking about my up coming adventure and side stepping any references to it, like an embarrassed politician who had been caught coming out of a brothel.

When asked directly by my mother, “ You are not climbing in Chamonix are you?”
I replied, “No mum”
To which she said, “ But you are going with Cliff aren’t you?”
“Yes. Lovely here at James’ pub, isn’t it? The weather is just perfect!” All that in a, “that was my niece, honestly! Style. No one believed me but I seemed to get away with it on the surface.

A Happy Birthday

Me Mum n Bro
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

The venue for the small party was once again, for my heightened awareness of such things, very very English.

A family friend of ours is the landlord of a small country pub. He set up some tables under a tree in the beautiful, green garden and we sat on a perfect English, summers day, ate lovely food, drank champagne, mum cried and we all shared a wonderful afternoon.

Gaggle or a Heckle?

Gaggle or a Heckle?
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

For our Mums Birthday, International communications began between my brother, Ady and myself back in June, to try and gather a select group of mums closest friends and few family, for a small celebration.

If there were collective noun for this small group it should be a ‘Gaggle’ or a ‘Heckle’.

Wedding gang

Wedding gang
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

It was only a few short hours after landing that I was sitting in a far less impressive rental car and sat in traffic on Englands famous M25! I was on my way to my friends Amy and Neils wedding up in Hartfordshire.

This was very very english! a village church and a marquee in a big country garden where we all drank Pimms and barn danced to an Irish band.

Good fun that.

Fancy Car

Fancy Car
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

I don’t know what kind of car this is but it was fancy and white and I had rented it for the first leg of my homeward journey. Looking forward to coming home for so many reasons I was up early and had time for a coffee at the ‘Bean’ before leaving town.

Then I was driving south to Jacksonville, Florida, being very careful to stick to the speed limit this time but with my mind wandering to family and friends and wondering how on earth I was to fit it all in!

So with my first leg completed, my second leg, a flight to New York was delayed. This is never a problem if you are on your way to work but going home is entirely a different story and a delay here would mean a very hectic connection in NY.

Of course I was right! Running athletically, with passport and hand luggage across JFK international airport is not much fun. The main worry being that I was not convinced that my luggage would be moving as efficiently as I was. With minutes to spare I was boarding the flight to London, with or without my luggage.

Safely in the terminal in London, I was happily reunited with my bag. It is very impressive that it had kept up the pace with me in New York!

Last leg a small train journey to Burgess Hill. My small flat had a mountain of post but was welcoming with gifts of wine, whiskey, rum and Port from friends who have stayed while I was gone.

A cup of tea was soon in front of me. An intake of breath and the whirl wind of home time activity was to begin.

Sea oats

Sea oats
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

I had the pleasure of walking along the beach with a beautiful woman. She told me that these sand dune grasses are called wild sea oats. I had to, from that point on, refer to the sea oats as sea corn because the thought of sowing wild sea oats in the dunes was not entirely appropriate.

We left the sea oats swaying in the breeze as we sipped cold white wine and watched the sun setting over the sea. Beautiful.