Rock staring it!

Sam and Anna
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

As usual the crowd gathers at the foot of the gangway to try and get a glimpse of who ever it is, that the rumors in town say is on board.

The rules for crew are as follows..
1) If you are off watch and you clear it with your head of department you can go ashore.
2) Go in boat uniform
3) Be contactable at all times
4) Call the gangway watch to make sure the coast is clear of guests before leaving
5) Leave and return quietly and discretely

Or… You can do what Sam and Anna did the other day! Dress in your own clothes and walk off looking like you own the place! Just rock star it a bit for the crowd, who all take pictures anyway because hey, Sam and Anna could just be famous after all, or at least absolutely loaded.

Work Harder Bitches

work harder bitches
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

The work is relentless and the breaks are few and short. The 6 deck crew in my team rinse and chamois the whole boat and clean all the windows every day before the guests get up! Then they launch all the boats, water toys, jet skis and whizz the guests around till late afternoon. Then they put away, wash and service all the water craft and either prepare the boat for sea or help with tender runs ashore with guests, often till three in the morning. All the guys are then up for work again at 7 unless it is their turn to do the night shift.

We are in a wonderful environment that has its tax free rewards but its not an easy ride. Me. I just sit and drink Gin on the aft deck.

Party deck

Party deck
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

Cushion covers all changed Jacuzzis cleaned and decks scrubbed every morning.

while I was sleeping

Taxi
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

This is our limousine tender. To recover the tender while the big boat is at sea it takes 6 crew. A driver and crew for the tender, an engineer to open the hydraulic doors, at least two line handlers to catch the boat as it comes in and an interior crew to greet the guests with warm or cold hand towels. Last but not least on the odd occasion the captain comes down just for the hell of it and on this occasion there was an Italian translator as well.

Last night one of our guests arrived from ashore in the taxi, he got himself slightly over excited and of course there was quite an audience. The guest raised his voice and probably his blood pressure (good job we have some experience with that now) He aimed his torrent of expletives towards one of the crew and then with an interjection from the Captain, towards him instead.

Captain to the interpreter, “ Did he just tell me to F**k OFF!!!?”
Interpreter, “No Captain. He told you, that you can ALL F**k OFF!”

Luckily I was not one of the audience and of course it was all my fault.

Morning routine

Morning routine
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

The crew are up early and enjoying the quite tranquillity of the morning routine. Last night was far from tranquil and today is set to be the same, I am sure of it.

When you work in the service industry there is always someone who will never be happy. It doesn’t matter if they are paying £500 pounds for their holiday or £500,000 (like these guys) If someone is shouting at you, its never pretty..!

blimey

blimey
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

From Porto Cervo in Sardinia, where the even rich and famous can't afford to come.
Movie stars, rock stars and iconic sports stars don't even have enough for this billionaires playground. Living just behind the scenes of this play is very interesting indeed.

Ooh la la Capitain! (French accent required)

As usual, it was a very pretty, well presented girl that had stopped the boys in their tracks!

They never seem to tire of it and since arriving in the South of France, where women certainly seem to make a big effort with their appearance but at the same time are very comfortable with removing most, or all of their clothes in public places, well at the beach anyway! Seeing that we are at the beach or there abouts most of the time, the boys are treated and horrified at regular intervals. I admit to being slightly distracted myself on the odd occasion..

Anyway, the above mentioned pretty girl came to the boat asking for the Captain. The captain was off the boat or busy so the guys called me to the gangway to meet the said, pretty girl.
"ello capiten" she said sweetly. She had after all, asked for the captain and I had arrived...My schoolboy french funnily enough doesn't stretch to, I am sorry, I am not the captain but the first officer.. so I smiled at her in my best French and decided to go with it. Bonjour mademoiselle ow can I elp you??.
Oh dear, oh dear! sad but funny!

First Class Mule

As everyone seems to know, Debbs is residing at che Daren in Sussex until she returns to Savannah from her European travels. Although I am also in Europe I am not really aware of the movements of my friend Debbs. Although, I think she has been seen hanging about with my brother and some of my friends. I knew that she was there though, because I received 3 text messages telling me my windows were open and was I home? A day or so later I also got a call from the elusive Debbs, to tell me that a parcel which I had sent from France back in May had arrived at my door. Hooray!!!

Prior to my departure on leave from the boat in May, I packed some belongings in a big box and sent them by mail to England. I subsequently left the South of France on my bicycle and headed slowly home! Despite my athleticism in the saddle, I at least expected the package to overtake me en route and at very worst arrive at my door at about the same time as me!.

One day on my cycle trip, I was sat drinking a coffee and chatting to a lady who was very impressed with my physical prowess and my adventure. She was however, very quick to one better my epic journey, leaving me for a moment, to fetch the local paper where she was excited to show me a picture of a French bloke, who was doing a pretty similar trip to me...Only on a bloody Donkey!!!! There was a picture of the silly, French donkey rider, smiling back at us from the newspaper..I should have known all along!! It must have been him who had taken my box! What a small world. Unless you intend to ride around it on a donkey that is..

Daren! Can you take the pressure?

Pressue
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

I am not sure! Can you take the pressure? I think I can, lets give it a practice first.
I received a call on my radio. Our principal guest had asked if we had means to take blood pressure on board.. We do. Only the means does not necessarily mean that we have the skills. I have taken blood pressure before.. ONCE and this is something that takes practice.. ! I walked enthusiastically to the captains office hoping that he was more qualified, or at least more practiced to take the pressure than me. We decide between us to explain that we didn't feel confident that we could give an accurate reading. The task of explanation was delegated from Captain to 1st mate. Oh Shit! thats me....
Our guest is a very nice chap and said that he appreciated that we were not doctors and that he would be happy with the best we could give. Yes sir, if you would just give us a few minutes!?
Seen in the picture, the captain who was smart enough to enlist female help, checked his own, then mine and then mine again then Alisons and then thankfully decided that HE would take the pressure.

Our guest, a middle aged business man, seems very relaxed and even though I am not a doctor, I think high pressure could be attributed to the Thai massage therapist who was giving him a good rub down, at the same time as the captain was trying to take the blood pressure reading.

Safety first

serious business
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

As always, the guys remain profesional throughout. I am always glad to see that the use of safety equipment is taken seriously.

This jet ski cradle is just begging for a down hill test. Thank goodness we are here and not at the national moutain centre in North Wales, with my friend Dai, who once, thought it was funny to slide down the dry ski slope on an upturned bar table. He was lucky not to be kicked off of the leadership course he was attending! This was because although bones were broken, he had the foresight to wear his motorcycle helmet ..

Some Etiquette?

Flags
Originally uploaded by darenpackham

Some people love flags…. It’s true! They love em!!!! The Brits are probably the most pompous about it too. This is with the definite exception of myself, who actually couldn’t give a damn!

Put the Ensign up at 0800 sharp, take the thing down at sun set. Don’t be late, don’t be early 0800 sharp. Yes Sir!!! Then also when you visit each country, you have to fly a ‘ courtesy flag’ This is a small flag of the nation being visited. It has to be flown on the starboard side flag halyard, definitely not Port, nope! On the starboard. This is even more important when in places like Monaco and St Tropez….Apparently

Any how, as I explained the other day we have been running about a bit and this requires a lot of flag shenanigans. Put up the French, take down the French and put up the Monaco then up with the French and so on. If anyone knows me? I tend to loose things (small brain) we even have a special pidgin hole for flags but sometimes they need repairs and washing ( we couldn’t possibly put up a tatty flag, even if it is French!)

At 0430 we quietly slipped into the anchorage off of Portofino, dropped the anchor and sat majestically right outside this perfect and beautiful little Italian port. We were tired and as the crew took over the bridge watch for the remaining few hours of night, all I could dream of was my bunk. The furthest thing from my mind was the Italian flag! You should have heard the fuss!!! To me, just a perfect bit of forgetiquette. No one seems to notice if we are a bit late with a fire drill this month but the flag, don’t what ever you do, forget the flag!!

A day in Portofino