I missed pant shrinking day.

This is a sign of laziness. All I have to do in the morning on my 30 second commute to work, via the moral booster (coffee maker) is to drop my laundry downstairs to Juancho. Today I forgot!! ….Juancho then, if I had remembered, does his thing and returns it to me at the end of the day. This, you will appreciate, is a huge luxury. I would certainly not like to complain that sometimes, I get Arthurs underwear or Brendons running shorts. It is bound to happen. I am very impressed, that even if the socks I get back, are not mine, I have never had less than a pair returned and they always match. />
I have only one complaint. Either my balls are getting larger, or Juancho is shrinking my pants! (Pants means underwear for North American readers.) All my other clothes are staying the correct size but I think he is annoyed that I went to Harrys without him and is now boil washing my pants in some weird scheme! So I am kind of glad that I forgot to take my laundry today but will have to remember tomorrow.

Savannah Secret

This is not all that exciting but I think it is note worthy. There is a small square down on the water front, here in Savannah. If you walk along the promenade it is at the end. It is symmetrical with 4 inward facing benches, behind which, there are 4 small walls containing bushes and in the corners are 4 trees. The ground has been concreted in a pattern with 4 triangles. The expansion joins cross in the centre of the square. There is nothing surprising about its appearance. Just a pretty little square, one of hundreds in savannah..

I found out from our engineer, that if you stand in the centre, where the triangles cross, and you talk, you can hear yourself, not as an echo but as a reverberating resonation. It is something un-explained. No advert, no plaque, no tourists, no locals, no guide book or anything, to tell anyone of its unique phenomena. It is very bizarre. I like it though. Mike showed me after we had been for a beer across the way from the square, we messed around for a few minutes. A couple walked through and Mike persuaded the guy to stand in the middle and say something. Bemused man, then got his wife to do the same, then we left the square and watched folks walking through, sitting on the benches but once again the secret remains, everyone blissfully un-aware of it.

Stranger still. On Saturday evening we were on the waterfront. There was a 3 man band playing and singing in the square. The middle guy was sat on a stool playing his guitar right in the centre. The other 2 blokes playing and singing along next to him. After they finished their show, I went up to the guy in the centre and said quietly, “The spot where you are sitting is a bit special isn’t it?” He looked at me, his weathered black face grinning, he held up his index finger to his lips. “yes it is” His other band members, also had no idea!

Wednesday Evening

So then..?
How did I go out for a quiet pizza with new friends and end up in Harrys on a Wednesday? I would love to try and explain…

Well we were in Vinnies, eating Pizza and then, as it was Wednesday and about 1030 PM, we all paid up and split from the restaurant to go home. I was kindly offered a ride home, by a girl called Christie. She and I were walking back to the car and decided to duck into another bar for one more beer. After a couple of drinks she asked if I was ready to leave. I just assumed that she wanted to go home now and said, “yes sure, thanks”

So, she kindly drove me out to Global (the ship yard) and as security is pretty tight, pulled up to the gate where we continued to chat. We had had a really lovely time chatting and laughing and so after 10 more minutes of chatting, she suggested we have another drink. Only now, the only option open for us was Harrys! I did say to her that, “you know Harrys is a ….strip bar?”
“Oh, don’t be a prude! Come on, it will be fun!”
So I went…
Then, all of a sudden, there I was, sitting at the bar in Harrys.
Coversation..
Me “Christie, you are going to have to forgive me”
Christie “ What, why?”
Me “Well, I think you are very nice and it’s great chatting but I don’t know if you have noticed? You are the only woman in here with any clothes on! I am a tiny little bit distracted!”
Christie “laughing”

Christie was trying to talk to me about her fitness studio or something and I was trying my best to pretend not to notice the lithe, naked, dancers doing interesting things with a stainless steel pole, only feet from where we were sitting. I was failing! My eyes were strangely drawn away from my fully clothed companion at increasingly regular intervals. Fortunately and amazingly, my innocent wide eyed bemusement came over to my companion as endearing and sweet. How. I have no idea. My thoughts were definitely not sweet or endearing!

Another weekend is coming up and Captain has given us Monday off. The phone has been ringing and Christie wants to see me again. I’m not sure if I am up to any more of that pizza and beer.

Harrys

Harrys
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

This is the entrance sign to Glabal Ship Systems. Just over the trax from our gate is a bar called Harrys. Its a strip bar!
We have been here 6 weeks now and so they say, no one from the crew, except for Jauncho, our laundry guy has ventured through the doors. He says that he only went to see the basket ball?
"Daren man, I take you, we go see basket ball, yes?"
"No juancho. I will go for a beer with you any time mate but not Harrys eh?"
"Daren man you should see the girls!"
"and how is the basketball?"

I like my Blog.

Things happen to me. I am sure they do to everyone? I particularly enjoy some of the random events that surprise and entertain me. I would like to tell you, that all these shenanagans are nothing new for me. It has been like this for years and years. I will always spare you details but have decided to just include everything.

Yesterday, I had the most weird night out and I was going to keep it all to myself, like I usually do. Then when I get home from my travels and people say, “Did you have a good time?” I would reply, “yes thanks, it was lovely” and no one would be any the wiser. Even if I could remember all the things that happened, no one would believe me or be that interested anyway. So, now I have my Blog. You can read it if you want to, if not. Don’t. Simple!

Floater!!!!????

Floater
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

It is hot here. Very very hot. Today was 38c. Last night we went for pizza, after pizza we went for beer.
Life seems all good and normal, I went to the bar and ordered a pitcher of beer.
To my wide eyed surprise. The waitress asked me if I would like a 'Floater' in my beer... Most certainly not!
If you live in Brighton, a floater is a stray piece of floating effluent, a king Henry the third, a non flusher. What can this girl possibly mean?
Conversation..
Me "Can I have a pitcher of beer please?"
Waitress "sure, would you like a floater in that?
Me " Pardon me?"
Waitress " Where are you from? I love your accent?"
Me "I love the way you have your hair. Where are you from?"
Quite bored of the accent thing.
Me " You are going to have to explain this 'Floater' thing. I have quite a terrible picture in my head...
Waitress " would you like ice in your beer"
Me " I am not sure what is worse"
waitress " we put it in a bag"
Me " Good idea. I'd love a 'Floater' Thanks."

Sparks

Sparks
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

God help everyone when I am let loose with wires and pliers!!

Middle Management Sucks

So I'm the boss but I'm not the boss. I look after all the bollocks from the guys and have deal with all the crap that comes from above.

Captain "Get the guys to move the furniture up to deck 5"
Me "Guys, can you put the furniture all up to deck 5?"
Guys " sure thing"
Captain "Whats the furniture doing on deck 5?
me " you asked me to put it there?!"
Captain " I said deck 4"
me " Guys we have to put the furniture on deck 4 now"
Guys "Have you seen how much furniture that is?
Me " Sorry guys"
1st Mate " whats the furniture doing on deck 4?
Me "captain asked us to move it"
!st officer " Arent we buying new furniture"

Someone is going to have to pay me a lot of money to put up with this.. Oh yeah.......


daren packham voyages

Electrical Work

Today I have been doing some electrical work. This is, for me something that does not come naturally.

My dad used to say, "Boy pliers, electric wires, blue flashes, boy ashes" I like that. It is about right for my sparkey skills.

daren packham voyages

Readership Increases

Good to see that there might be 3 of you reading now. Hello Mum, Dai and welcome Jack, whoever you are, to my small but select readership.

More sensational stories to follow. Plus movies and pictures.

Ah, I am excited. There are definitely 4 of you. Hello to Ady my brother. If you need a picture, imagine Daisey duke in blonde and multiply by as many as you dare, or buy a flight to Savannah

Adventure or Flamenco

The Savannah Adventure Club... I found it when I did a search on google for stuff to do on the weekends here in Savannah. Stuff that would keep me out of the kind of bars mentioned previously.

The web site says the club is a small friendly group of like minded folks, living in savannah, that like to do outdoor activities, such as kayaking and other sports that I like. So I sent my e mail address to them and then, every now and again I get an e mail. BBQ this Saturday, bring something for the grill and something to drink. Kayak trip out on Tybee Island or hiking and camping up state some place.

So, it was Saturday. I hopped on my beach cruiser bicycle and cycled off towards the address on the e mail. After all this interest in outdoor sports I chose the BBQ as my starting point.

I was welcomed into the small gathering in a shaded green yard. Adventure or Flamenco? One girl asked me.. Now I am confused. No. just adventure please. Can you dance the Flamenco? No but people have said that I can shag pretty well. The girl did not start to laugh as I had half expected, then continued to explain, that the girlfriend of the guy who organises the adventure club is the Flamenco teacher.. Cool. Then I was less confused.

Fancy a Shag?

I have now been here a few weeks. I have found my feet at work and now socially starting to find the places and people that interest me.. A Friday night out will usually start at Sorry Charlies. The live music outside, it is very relaxed. The warm evenings are a big plus. Moving across the road later,to the Mercury Lounge, where more live music, is great for dancing. It’s a music genre and atmosphere that we love. Plus the place is full of six foot blonde girls all wearing the standard little white dress! For me this is fantastic…

This past Friday, we got into pretty high spirits and as the American dudes don’t generally dance, we have our pick of lovely blondes to twirl about with. It seems too that, I have got the hang of this style of dancing and I am loving it! It is a sort of cross, between Rock and Roll and Latin. The best thing about it is that you have to dance with someone. So we are just tearing the place up. There are two clear natural advantages for us over the other guys in the bar. 1, we have an accent and 2 we like dancing. So we are quite popular, spinning and swirling our partners around like whirling dervishes. Needless to say we are making friends.

Being approached by a six foot vision of feminine, blonde beauty is now, no more unusual than the fact that I live on a 100 million dollar boat (what a strange world it has become). Normally it is for no more than a dance, a sweet smile and a few words. Usually the first thing they say is ‘don’t you have a lovely accent.’ Standard reply to nice accent is don’t you have lovely eyes, hair, dress or perfume or something equally cheesy. Its cheap I know but it is a winner! On Friday I was more than surprised when a girl turned to me, looked me straight in the eye, smiling with her perfect ,gleaming white teeth (they all have immaculate teeth in the usa) and started the following conversation……

Blonde “ Where did you learn to shag like that?”
Me “Excuse me?”
Blonde “You shag really well, where did you learn?”
Me (laughing)
Blonde “Why are you laughing?”
Me “ You are making me laugh”
Blonde “ You have a lovely accent, where are you from?”
Me “ Well you have beautiful eyes, where are you from?”
Blonde “ You are so sweet, thank you. (said with general hair flicking and eye widening)
Blonde “So, are you Australian?”
Me “ No. I’m from England… What do you mean when you say shag?”
Blonde (confused face) “the shag dancing” (as if I was the idiot!!?)
Me “ (still smiling, thinking, this is going straight on my Blog)
Me “ Would you like to shag with me then? (holding back a deep desire to laugh)
Blonde " Come on then"(more hair flicking) taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor.

So we danced and danced. Me and Dave, my new friend Brook and all of her friends shagged the night away.

Black and White

In general terms most people know, that the little black dress is a girls must have, standard safe fashion option. In Georgia this is a little white dress… I think it is more sexy. Just an observation.

walk about

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it is a strange feeling that I am now totally used to my surroundings. I look at this short film that takes us from the heli deck to the bow in a non stop walk and think, well don't leave your screwdriver on the bow, if you are working on the Heli deck!

The teak decks, railings and woodwork are all covered ready for being in the dry dock on june 1st. We are excited to be living ashore for a while. We have a lovely big house out on Havasham Street. The big yellow one on the corner.

North Sea Spring 2005

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When I am sat here, in the lap of luxury drinking coffee on the bridge and start to miss life on Bessie Ellen. I watch this to remind myself of where I could be...

Kayak Star

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More footage from the Ocoee. My kayaking peers continue to tease and all I ask is that you are at least impressed with having video posted up on my Blog?

Streching and Relaxing

Not sure about the yoga thing.

There is no doubt that there is huge benefit from stretching all your limbs and relaxing, both of which I do not do enough of. However. I dont find that I am able to do a lot of relaxing when trying to contort my body into shapes it is surely not meant to be in. It hurts, I cant seem to do it very well, it makes me fart and I tend to fall over from a clear lack of inner strength and balance.
Why then do I go to Broughton street, every thursday after work to put myself through this torture? Same reason I go to circuit training at home. I have got no idea!

daren packham voyages

5 o clock beers

5 o clock beers
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

Friday came round again pretty quick this week. beers on the heli deck. Celebrating the end of a busy end uneventful working week.

I am turning into a cross leg sitting, tree hugging, grenola eating, clean living weirdo. I'm soon going to pack it all in and start working at a health food shop...

Stunt Double

Stunt Double
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

For Cliff. More Blured shots to keep identity vague.

Not me either

not me either
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

Jeramy had my camera attached to his bouyancy aid and took lots of over the shoulder shots as I did my best to follow him. If I could actually see him, that was.

Taxi Tender

Taxi Tender
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

Thunderbirds are Go!!

The Monte

The Monte
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

The Monte Carlo, out of the water.

hold ya hair piece

copy of DSC00030
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

Fridays..... Great

Monday. Tropical storm ‘Daren’

The beach club, is the area at the stern of the ship where the pool is. It is very nice there with a bar, deck furniture and without the boats looks massive. It has become a bit of a dumping ground during this yard period and there is stuff from lockers just about everywhere. Our first job today was to remove the heavy teak panelling so that the engineers could get to some problem or other.

Mary asked me if I would turn off the rope lighting around the bar as it was not really necessary. I agreed, reached for the nearest switch, lifted a plastic cover and pushed the switch.

My goodness me!!!!

At this point I have to explain a system called Hi-fog. This is a fixed installation fire fighting device which includes nozzles in the ceiling all around the boat. When activated by heat (or by silly light switch style buttons) water under incredible pressure is sent through the nozzles and is atomised making a very very wet, very thick fog. This would, after experience, I have no doubt in my mind put out any fire whatsoever.

The story continues. I was now standing in what felt like a tropical storm surrounded with zero visibility. It reminded me a bit of the top of Snowdon only I was stood soaking in my uniform. I suddenly had lots of company, captain, 1st officer, chief engineer, and 2 deck hands, who were also soaked, all come to investigate the cause of fire in the beach club. The stop button, was located by mike engineer and I was considering how nice it would be to be sailing up the channel on Bessie Ellen and if Nikki still needs a captain.

After Thursday came Friday!

Friday had bright sunshine and the spirit of the day was all around the ship. A proper Friday feeling. A night out in town planned for after work and day working in the sun. Job one, to launch all the Tenders. I would like to say that tenders are small boats but in this case, they really are not.

The swimming pool at the stern was filled which in turn floats the taxi tender from its chocks and the big hydraulic doors at the back lower down and up respectively, so that we can back it out using its twin diesel engines and bow thruster if necessary. The bottom stern door then raises back leaving a 15 meter, indoor swimming pool. After that, the side door is raised, the crane is connected to the ‘Monte’ a 30 foot open sports cruiser. This is lifted clear by telescopic arms and lowered into the water by the side of the ship.

Off to the bow. A hydraulic hatch a bit like a car bonnet only a bit bigger slowly raises to its 90 deg point and with a cool sounding clunk, locks in place. Another crane is utilised to launch the rigid inflatable with an inboard diesel engine and an Italian jet drive, revealing bellow it a very fancy water ski boat. We didn’t launch that though or the four jet skis either.
All ready, all engines started and warmed up. Then we had to drive the boats to the place an hour up river where they are all to be serviced. With no speed limits on the river the Friday feeling was getting better and better..

At the marina waiting for the car to come pick us up, me and the other deck crew were sipping cold cans of coke sitting in the shade. Grinning from ear to ear. We were back just in time for our lamb cutlets for lunch. Yummie.

Communication breakdown at Niagara Falls,

Thursday was a day for me to remember here on Princess Mariana!
On Wednesday evening, I was making preparations for a Thursday morning fire drill.
The main means of escape from the crew corridor down in the bowels of PM, in a disaster is to proceed forward and scale a steep stairway up towards the forward tender garage( a place where mechanics are in-touch with their feminine side)
After the initial stairs is another stair-case that leads through a hydraulic hatch to the open deck. Snore….

There is a hydraulic power pack that you have to start in order to open the hatch. If this is out of action, there is a manual pump that you have to use to open the door. More snoring.

I thought my drill should include the manual operation but as I was not 100% sure on how to do it I was just checking. I fiddled with levers and nobs and pushed solenoids and could not get it going. My checking was pretty much after working hours, so when I approached the engineer he said he would help me in the morning.

After a night of deep sleeping in my fresh cotton sheets and air conditioned climate my brain was wiped of all forward hatch tinkerings of the day before. That morning I had to go into the tender garage to collect some tools and was heading down from outside. Open box, turn key, turn switch to open hatch. Nothing! Repeat process. Still nothing! I then have to travel around to the inside. ( a long way) standing at the foot of the first stairway I am met by a fountain of hydraulic oil cascading beautifully down the stairs towards the very nice carpet. Ooops!

Deck crew, deck crew, please make your way immediately to the forward emergency escape route. Ah!?

The Big Water Makes for Tricky Swimming

On the Sunday I had arranged for Jeramy. A local Kayak guide to meet me at 8. Tired and a bit jaded from my night out in Bryson City, we loaded up the truck with the latest 2006 kit and head off in search of the Ocoee River..

I have not been paddling for a while and told Jeramy quite clearly, that although I am very comfortable in a kayak, my enthusiasm for this kind of activity often out weighs my skill level by quite a big margin. I am going to ignore all previous comments from friends back home, as to the authenticity of the photos posted earlier.

So, me and Jez got to the ‘put in’ point. We were fortunate to have two cars, so the usual carry on, of putting a vehicle at the ‘get out’ point, shuffling the safety gear around, a bit of car park flashing and squeezing into lots of black rubber gear was done easily. Then it was time to go and just get on with it.

The Ocoee river level is controlled by a dam release system. This was just by the car park at the ‘put in’ and had me terrified before we started. The volume of water was a good percentage higher than I have paddled before.

A cursory look at the first rapid section caused a bit of arse clinching. The choice offered up by Jez was, an option between getting in just after the first rapid or having to do a very committing ferry ( a traverse across river by paddling up stream)to hit the safe flow on river left…Some of this might loose some folks, sorry about that.. The option of skipping it, entered my mind but the rapid just went on into rapid two and so on, so I decided that we should just go for it.

Like a duckling, (Yellow boat) instinctive but inexperienced I intrepidly followed mother duck!

Break out from the eddie, river right, paddling like fury not to loose ground down stream towards the jaws of death bellow, ducked in, safely to a tiny eddie behind a rock, catching breath for the second part of this river crossing. Then boom… we leant off down stream and caught the flow. I was just following the line of my instructor, which I was doing well until major rapid three.. The drops and holes were enormous, great fun to shoot. Too huge for me to play in. I was just surviving at this point. On the first part of rapid three with a name tag, like black hole, serpents teath, or ‘Don’t do this you nutter, you are almost certainly going to die. I shot past the USA ‘Dagger’ rodeo team who were merrily training in a ‘Hole’ the size of jesus. They were cart-wheeling, spinning, looping and every other ing that they could do. Distracted of Brighton, also managed a full reverse Loop. This would have been very cool if I had managed a successful Eskimo roll. At this point my protective helmet was being tested to its breaking limit by the local sub aquine geology, as was my second attempt at rolling. Needless to say, it was time to part company with the said, yellow boat and try my hand at swimming. Now then. Swimming and Kayaking are two things in this life that I can do with reasonable effect. However.. Rapid three, was crazy and had already found thelimit of my kayaking skills!!! Not to mention as well, that rapid three is about 400 meters long.. I had managed to skilfully navigate up right, about 60 meters, up side down, about another 30 and then the swim. The Ocoee river is wide! And it is moving at quite a clip. Normal swimming techniques do not apply, especially when clutching a 2 meter long paddle. Feet together is a good idea, knees up to chest and sculling one handed whilst being bounced of huge rocks was making my swimming efforts look more like drowning. My sense of humour was also suffering some terminal problems. I managed to get into an eddie after about a 150 more meters. I was then almost simultaneously joined by the whole ‘Dagger’ team asking jovially how I enjoyed my swim… (they were still in their boats..) the rest of whom were assisting my guide lower down the river with a yellow boat.

I won’t continue to bore you with my day on the Ocoee river. I enjoyed it though! I will have to admit to another swim later in the day but only after an incredible display of skill and dexterity that even, my slightly over cool instructor was forced to comment on. He said, “ shame that you ended that move with the swim!”

I had enjoyed it though and will be returning to do it all again soon!

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Hooray for, Vets that dance, eat pizza and drink beer.

After coming off the trail I had to hitch a ride. It was a classic ride, form a big dude in a big truck, with his big wife. They were off to a Harley Davidson Meeting! I was pleased that they were and very pleased that they picked me up. It was, however a bit of a concern to see him sipping beer from a Budweiser can as he was driving along!
Anyhow I arrived back at my wooden home in the woods, had a nap and a shower before heading back into Bryson City, to find food and refreshment.
The only bar in town was quiet for a Saturday evening but I was hungry and sat up at the bar where Heidi a buxom lass, (who actually looked pregnant but was just a bit fat ) was serving beer with a smile and a friendly southern accent.
This girl was a classic example of." I would rather see a pregnant girl standing up, than a fat girl sitting down crying". Don’t give up your seat for a girl unless you are sure she is actually pregnant. She was very nice though and was keeping me company. That was, until 3 pretty women walked in, who were obviously straight off the trail. Some how, we all got to chatting and spent the evening, eating pizza drinking beer and becoming slightly over refreshed. Then dancing to the live band that came on, before finally retiring after a flurry of kisses, to my much needed bed. It was 2 30 am and I had another busy day to look forward to

daren packham voyages

Hey Boo Boo

The Appellation trail windles its way, all the way from Georgia to Main. That is far…!
The bit I was to tackle on my day on the trail was 14 miles through beautiful wooded hills and would take me past a local high point
I Had let a comment from a pretty girl at the car rental place in savannah, just wash over me. I was distracted by the fact that there was a clear lack left handed jewellery and the incredible white teeth that were smiling at me, were also mouthing the words. Bear country. …I was only half listening..
It wasn’t until I passed a tree, who’s bark had clearly been stripped by a large toothed, fury quadruped, that I started to remember ,miss dental hygiene, award-winners words, she had clearly said that this was indeed bear country!
Sitting at the top of the hill surveying the view and hanging my legs over the edge I took a bit of my large beef sandwich and wondered……
"Hey Boo Boo, Whats that in that pic I nic basket?
Are they watching me and what is my plan of action..
daren packham voyages

Bryson City a place just past Waynesville

It is funny that Bill Bryson travelled around Brittain making fun of our village names etc and making a fortune from us suckers who read all about it. Then here I am in a small town which has the same name as that very man and it is just along the highway from Waynesville. Fantastic…
All this through my bleary eyes at 3 in the morning after a long road trip where, I drove for hours using only cruise control. Wiggling my feet to keep them awake or toe tapping to country music. Lyrics like, "Give the horse a rest and ride the cowboy… " me smiling and the thought of being out on the trail tomorrow keeping me moving along.

daren packham voyages

Me

Smokie
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

The appelation trail. North Carolina USA

Weekend in the Smokies

kayak
Originally uploaded by darenpackham.

I have lots of tales which I will share soon

Steve FM

The radio station that is like a refridgerator. If you turn it off things are going to go bad!

Just one of the crazy radio stations that I was listening to while cruising along on my road trip this weekend.